"Shadow IV- At War in Love" to edit

[Rian]

I like the Thane's third and King's first play of words - you're a good writer, Gordy!

[Gordis]

Oct 14, 2009 21:11:04 GMT Rian said:

I like the Thane's third and King's first play of words - you're a good writer, Gordy!

Copyrighed to Valandil, unfortunately. I just stole it.

And a great poet once said: "The course of true love never did run smooth."

I like your addition, Earniel . And it is correct, look here:
www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/356900.html

[Rian]

ok, I proofed chpt 2 - there's a comment in red that needs clearing up ...

[Gordis]

She suspected a maid had accidentally misplaced one of Tarniel's dresses with hers; is this right? Tarniel? she wore it anyway.


Good catch, Rian. I was wondering about the same thing when I have first read Serenoli's text. It may be that Tarniel had simpler but more elegant dresses than Odare, but I doubt she would have an ugly dress. And almost everyone referring to Odare on the ride thought she was poorly dressed etc...

So, maybe, we could change it to:
She suspected a maid had accidentally misplaced one of her own dresses with hers ?

What do you think?

And thank you for editing the chapter, Rian!

[Gordis]

Well, I have edited the text making it (likely) a misplaced maid's dress.


I've posted Chapter 2 on the three archives. No reviews yet, but we got 4 stars on OSA.

Now please, have a look at the Chapter 3!

[Eärniel]

Found no errors in chapter 3. (Since the game is dead, might as well spend some of my time in getting what we do have in good shape.)

[Gordis]

Thanks, Earniel.

I have already posted chapters 1-4 on all the three archives. But it was a long time ago. You are right, if we are not writing, we may as well post what we have.

So, it would be great if you checked chapter 5

[Eärniel]

That was next on my list.